When I was growing up my Nannie had the most beautiful salt-water aquarium.  I spent hours gazing at the yellow tang, the funny sea horses, or the delicate sea stars.  That crazy lady even had those fish trained so that when she scratched on the top of the aquarium they came swimming up in a frenzy ready to eat.  She also had a “fish guy” who came to her house to clean out the tank, bleach the coral, and add new fish when she needed them once a month or so.  The whole process was fascinating and the end result added beauty and wonder to their home.  These are lovely memories for me…. Now fast forward to life today on the Ranchito.

My husband calls me an “animal hoarder.”  I don’t know if that is a thing, but if it is, then I am one.  I should never be allowed in a PetSmart unaccompanied.  I search PetFinders like some women search Pinterest.  I have been known to pull over on the side of unsafe roads to try to lure a stray anything to my car. I had a pet squirrel that lived in my bedroom named Popcorn.  Once, after having seen a stray cat in a hotel parking lot, I saved all the chicken from my quesadilla at the restaurant next door to tempt the kitty to me. It worked and that cat was our Ranger for 10 years.  Just last month I showed up to a meeting 20 minutes late with asphalt stains on the knees of my lovely winter white pants because there was a kitten under a car at the mall…  Chick-fil-a was the bait of choice that day and I was less successful.  Your loss, kitty.

I may or may not have passed this little disorder on to my children.  (Sorry Babe)  They have asked for a pet everything you can imagine.  We have obliged where we could- puppies, kittens, bunnies, chickens, even a leopard geko.  There have been seasons where a caught tarantula took up residence, we have had a colorful fire toad,  and there was a large container of scoripions at one point (boys, you know?).  Sorry kids, you will never have a snake, I’ll keep working on Dad about the ponies and wallaby (who are we kidding- the wallaby is all me), and it is illegal to have a tiger.  One mistake I have made in my animal hoarding is a yes to the fish in the bowl.  You know the deal, the pretty beta fish in the little glass bowl, or maybe the goldfish they won at the school carnaval.  The cheap fish in the cheap bowl- easy peasy.  One container of food will last the fish’s entire life. A grand total investment of $15. Done.

These little fish swimming around in the scalloped, crystal clear bowls are lying to you.  That water will be gross and smelly by the time you wake up in the morning.  Remember the scene from Finding Nemo where the fish stop up the filter so the tank gets super dirty?  Well, guess what?  Your $15 didn’t even get you a filter.  It also didn’t cover the nice “fish guy” who will come to your house and clean out your bowl.  So you are stuck with unfiltered, waste water and some kids who are no longer interested.  I have fallen for it more times than I would like to admit.

Can’t our lives feel like that as well sometimes?  I see it everyday…People swimming around in their own dirty water, in their waste, desperate for some fresh air.  Is there anything we long for more than encouragement?  Not long ago I started feeling insecure in relationships that I knew in my head were steadfast and strong.  My courage started to falter.  The Lord showed me that my courage in those relationships can come from encouraging them.  Courage is built when we encourage each other.  None of us are entitled to encouragement, apart from the knowledge of the love of Christ and our identity in Him (and that is ENOUGH, for sure).  There are usually no cheerleaders as I go about my daily tasks.  Not many of us get enough “atta-girls.”  That is why when we have the courage to give one to someone else, what a gift!  Maybe we can be a “fish guy” to someone today and offer a little fresh air.  Maybe it would offer our own bowls a chance to get clean if we would stop swimming around in our own junk and jump on over into someone else’.

Our dirty water is making us sick, isn’t it?  Just like those little fish that looked so happy and healthy yesterday that are now belly up in the murky mess.  Not just spiritually sick, physically sick as well.  I recently read an article about “How Emotions Affect Immune Systems” by Jane Collingwood.  In it she sites Dr. Steve Cole’s study on loneliness.  She quotes, “One of the most robust social risk factors involves the number and quality of an individual’s close personal relationships.  People who are socially isolated [swimming around in their own mess- my words!!!] have increased risk of death from all causes, and several specific infectious, cancerous, and cardiovascular diseases.”   Later on she quotes Dr. Richard Davidson saying, “It’s absolutely likely that positive emotions can improve your immune function.  People with negative emotional styles would be more likely to develop the flu.”  I am not as smart as any of these people but this sounds like some fishbowl logic to me.  The dirty water is making us sick.  The very best flu shot we can get may very well be encouragement!!!

I think one of the fishbowl lies is that, “no one understands me, what I’m going through, this situation…..”  Oh, it’s a stinky one.  Here is what I have learned: my hard may be different than your hard but it’s still hard.  Let me tell you about a few  of the“hards” I have had.  There have never been two people less prepared in all of history to get married than my husband and I were.  Let’s just say that we had some serious hards for the first, oh decade or so, of our marriage.  We also had some “can’t keep the lights on” financially hard years.  I am raising my babies approximately 10 million miles from my parents and shifting the expectations of what that looks like has been hard.  Maybe someone could look at my not-hards and forget the hards… I come from a fantastic, intact family who loves me and introduced me to Jesus.  I had no problem conceiving 4 healthy babies.  I have awesome friends, a vibrant church, the opportunity to stay home and serve my family.  Maybe someone would look at my marriage 16 years in and have no idea… Look at my hubby’s job, our home, our community of faith and never know how it used to be.  That is fine.  I’m not trying to swim around in old dirty water, but make no mistake, I understand hard. And what if I looked at someone who had an amazing, mature, God-honoring marriage right from the “I Do’s” and enough money to go to Bora Bora for their honeymoon (y’all, the hut in the middle of the ocean), and thought their bowl was crystal clean.  All the while they may be struggling with infertility, illness, or issues that come from a foundation not nearly as strong as mine was.  Their hard is different.  Your hard may be different.  The things that are clouding your fishbowl may be very different than the things clouding mine.  But how much we lose when we stay in our own stinking water thinking, “no one understands.”  We can find FaceBook pages and support groups and little cliques of people walking in the same hard we are walking in (and sometimes we need to, certainly).  We can get so used to our dirty water we can’t see anyone else’.  We can stay put and suffocate. But what if we all just jumped on out of our junk for a moment and started spashing some encouragement around?    Trust that everyone has hard. No one you’ll meet today is “over-encouraged.”

In the end, Jesus is the ultimate “fish guy.” (Sorry, Lord).  He comes in and cleans up our mess with his grace and forgiveness.  He can take our rancid water and make something beautiful out of it.  So, today why don’t you take a fresh breath of encouragement and offer one to someone else.  Don’t fall for the fishbowl lies again!

Do you know what I remember?  Being 11.  Do you know what I currently have under my roof?  An 11 year old.  She is in the 5th grade.  I remember the 5th grade!  I remember that my BFF’s were Kim Moore and Heather Mason and we would make up dances to Janet Jackson (OMG, Mom!) at slumber parties.  I remember my teacher, my outfits, and my parents when I was 11 years old.  I remember the books I read and the trips we took.   I remember riding my bike to Wendy’s with Kirstin Garrison and Jackie Pricket for Frostys.  I remember 11.  This struck me not long ago.  That my kids are almost totally out of the “babies who won’t remember this” phase.  They will remember this.  They will remember being 11, and 10, and maybe even 7 and 5.  And I had this thought: this is it.  This is the whole thing, happening right now in front of my nose.  This is it.  Here is what I mean…

While we are walking down memory lane (or Jefferis Court as the case may be), do you remember when you couldn’t wait to grow up?  Maybe it was that you couldn’t wait to watch a certain show or movie (my 5 year old has told us that when he is a grown-up he will watch Captain America everyday).  Maybe it was that you couldn’t wait to be old enough to try out for a certain team or go to a certain camp.  We all remember the anticipation of waiting for Christmas morning or for school to get out for Summer.  I remember thinking that if I could just shave my legs (what in the very world?) or wear make-up, I would have arrived.  Then it was: if only I could date.  Then, if only I could drive.  Then I remember looking forward with excitement and trepidation to high school graduation.  College.  “Once I pass this class, get into this sorority, get this internship…then.”  Of course like any good southern girl my thoughts then went to my Mrs. Degree. (Actually, that is not at all how it happened, but stay with me).  “I’ll just be happy when I get married, and have a perfect wedding, and a husband to complete me (insert eye-roll).”    But that wasn’t it, was it?  Because then we moved on to: “once I get pregnant… once this baby is OUT OF ME… once she is sleeping through the night… once they are in school… once we get that house.”  Or maybe your story goes more like:” once I get this job… this raise… this amount of $ in the bank… then I will be happy, fulfilled, able to ______  (fill in the blank).”

So this is what struck me as I realized I have a living, breathing, remembering 11 year old in my house… THIS IS IT Y’ALL!  All of that is water under the bridge.  Driving, high school, college, the wedding, the babies, the house, the job, the eye-shadow for goodness sake.  Done.  So this is it.  I am certainly not saying, “Oh well, I guess this is it.  This is all.  There is nothing left to look forward to.”  No way!  I am saying, “This is IT! Life is happening now!  We are here!  Now what are we going to do with it?”  My kids may not remember this particular day (and some days, Praise you Lord for that), they may not remember this particular meal, or this particular conversation but the sum total of all of that will make up their memories.  This is it!  This is their childhood! Today!  The memories that I want them to have when they are 39, I better be building right now.  The mom I want them to remember I better be, right now.  The words I want them walking out of this house believing, I better be saying, now.

It’s not just for my children, either.  It is for me as well.  The marriage I want to have, I need to be investing in today, because this is it!  The friendships I want to be a part of I should be pouring into right now, because this is it!  The prayer life I want to have I need to find time for now, because this is it!  The conversations I want to have with my parents I need to have, because this is it!  The gifts I want to explore I need to get after, because this is it!   The memories I want to make, the places I want to go, the books I want to read, the things I want to learn, I need to go for because THIS IS IT!  Here we are!  What am I waiting for?  What are you waiting for?  We are not promised another day and why would we want to get stuck in the, “once I just____ then I will ____” pit?

One of my very favorite scriptures is John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.  I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”  For years I lived in the trap that this abundant life Jesus was speaking of was the same as the lie the American culture was feeding me.  I thought abundant life, or life to the full had something to do with a bigger house, a secure bank account, or maybe days filled with leisure.  Surely it means doing what I want to do, or that hut in Bora Bora out in the middle of the ocean?  Surely it at least meant being able to go to Target and buying whatever I want, or maybe just some PEACE AND QUIET for goodness sake!  Lie! Lie! Lie! Someone was stealing and killing and destroying my joy!  He was stealing my abundant life! Do you know what we have a whole lot of around here?  LIFE!  And all of that life comes with mess.  I have found that the more life we have the more laundry there is, and dishes there are, and noise I hear, the fuller the schedules are, and the more demands on me there are.  LIFE!  When I look at all this mess I have to remember that it is equal to life TO THE FULL!  How sad it would be to have this abundance of life and think “If only I could get to Bora Bora.”  I’ll be happy when…. what?  There is less life?  That’s not the God I serve!  He is about abundance!  Real abundance, not the artificial, fleeting kind.  Life.

So this is it!  Abundant life is here, today!  In the mess, in the fullness, in the realness.  I will always live in a place of expectation on The Lord.  We can never get to the end of Him so I will never stop pushing for more.  And I pray he has more for me in my life and my walk. Maybe you are still waiting for the job, the hubby, the baby, the house… But today will never be here again so we better embrace it for what it is- abundant!  Now it is my children’s turn to countdown… Right now it is mostly just Spring Break, superhero movies, and obviously lip-gloss.  But one day when they look back they will know that life was not found in those things. Those milestones and so many more will pass and they will be relatively unchanged by them. But if they can, if we can, just recognize that life to the full is right here within our grasp then everyday can be lived in abundant blessing!  THIS IS IT Y’ALL!  Go get ’em!

 

 

I have 12 chickens y’all!  What in the world?  This crazy little flock of mine have been one of the most fun adventures since moving to the Ranchito.  The extent of my knowledge about chickens 2 years ago began and ended with “McNuggets,”  but here I am now, a bonofied chicken lady. I even have the T-shirt!

Since my hubby won’t let me get “grazing animals” until we drill another water well I decided chickens were a good place to start my wannabe homestead.  I read a little about the process and ordered a mix flock of a dozen baby chicks.  They were shipped to me at one day old!! I kept these fragile chicks in my bathroom for weeks because they needed to stay warm.  We then moved them to the courtyard with the bunnies so we could keep close eye on them.  And finally, when they were big enough (okay, when the mess was too much) we moved them into the big coop my hubby gave me for Christmas (really, who am I?).  And now, guess what?  I have eggs!!! Beautiful, fresh eggs everyday.  I have dozens and dozens of them!  I love it so, so much.

 

As I was out gathering eggs the other day (just call me Laura Ingals, or better yet, Anne Shirley) a funny thought came to me.  All my girls are laying in the same nesting box!  You see, in my extensive research on chicken raising and coop building (please read 5 Pinterest Pins and one Google search)  I learned that it is best to have one nesting box per two hens.  So, I drove on down to my new favorite store, Tractor Supply (I have even bought a shirt there y’all. Seriously what in the world?) and bought 6 boxes for my 12 girls.  They use one of those boxes.  Every single day, every single egg is laid in one of those boxes.  I fuss at them and pick them up and put them in the perfectly good, unused boxes.  I make sure the other boxes are cleaned out and have plenty of fresh hay, just like the lucky box has.  It doesn’t matter.  One box it is.  Silly chickens!

But as I started thinking about my funny girls, it occurred to me that we very often do the same thing in life, don’t we?  We all try to lay in the same box. Here is what I mean… Do you ever find yourself clamoring for what someone else has, or a place where someone else is, or a gifting someone else is already operating in?   I know I have found myself jumping on up to the one crowded box and trying to fight my way in.  This may look like thinking that I need to serve in a place because it is what everyone else is doing, even though it drains me dry and I am no good at it.  It may look like ignoring something The Lord is calling me to walk in because no one else is in that box and I might be all alone.  It may look like putting off making my contribution to the world, or just my community, because the box is so crowded and I’ll just wait my turn.  It may just look like a big ‘ole case of FOMO (fear of missing out) because after all, there is a lot of action going on over there!

In I Corinthians 12 we read that the Holy Spirit is the best gift giver in the world!  He is ready to give every believer gifts that are to be used for the Kingdom of God.  Verses 4-6 read, “There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit.  There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord.  There are different kinds of working but the same God works all of them in all men.”  Then Paul moves on to the example of one body made up of many parts.  Verses 14 goes on to say, “Now the body is not made up of one part but of many.” Verse 17-20 says, “If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be?  If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be?  But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, everyone of them, just as He wanted them to be.  If they were all one part, where would the body be?  As it is, there are many parts, but one body.”  If we all think we need to join the same organization, try to lead in the same areas, manifest the Spirit with the same gifts, bring the same strengths to the table, aren’t we just like my crazy chickens fighting for a spot in an overcrowded box?  We cannot do it all but we are all called to do something.  We are not gifted in all areas but we are all gifted.  And look… look at all those perfectly good empty boxes down the row.  One may just be a perfect fit.

Another way I believe we all lay in the same box comes in the form of personal convictions.  I am not talking Biblical truths here.  I am not talking sin issues.  I am talking about personal convictions I believe the Lord lays on our individual hearts within the freedom we have in Christ.  Here are some examples from my tribe:  I have a friend who is seriously committed to plant-based, clean eating.  Like, her girls bring their own cupcakes to the party committed.  I respect her so much for all the work she puts in to feeding her family.  Theologically I can even get behind her with the whole “our bodies are temples”   (I Corth. 6:9) principle.  However, let me remind you that I am well acquainted with the term “McNuggets.”  I have another friend who is pregnant with baby number 7 and will probably never prevent pregnancies in the future.  Again, I also know the scriptures about children being a blessing and full quiver (Psalm 127:5).  I have friends who are anti-vaxers and some that have never thought twice about it.  I have some who are committed to full-time homeschooling standing on Deut. 6 and some who feel that being in the world not of it means public schools (John 15:19). I have friends who “Elf on the Shelf” and Santa it up and others who would never dream of “lying to their kids!”  I have friends who jump on into Trick or Treating on Halloween and others who have a serious problem with participating in it.  I have friends who have their babies in birth centers with midwives and some who are all “give me the drugs QUICK!” All of these women love the Lord, are walking in His Word, and are listening closely to the Holy Spirit in their lives and for the lives of their families.   Here is what I am saying… we don’t all have to lay in the same box.  We can’t.  I can know the Word of God, pray for direction, surround myself with wise community, and do the best I can with the convictions that the Lord lays on my heart.  And I must cheer you on when you bravely jump into a different box than mine, fight a different fight, explore a different aspect of the Word, stand on a different conviction.  I will not peck and scratch to get into your box, nor will I cackle and cluck when you find your fit on down the row.  We owe this to each other.

Like I said, I have a mixed flock of chickens.  There are 9 different breeds of birds in my dozen hens.  They look different and sound different.  Their feet are different colors, their fethers are of different textures, and their personalities are not the same at all.  And their eggs are all unique.  I have blue eggs, and brown ones.  I have some that are dark and some that are almost pink.  I have some that are spotty and some that are smooth.  I have some that are so large they don’t fit in the cartons, and some that are cute and little.  How silly when all of these beautifully different eggs are piled in the same box.  How silly when we think that all of our beautifully different gifts, talents, strengths, and convictions need to be piled in the same place.  Let’s increase our territory a bit and spread our wings.  I’m cheering for you from my box!