Since I am such a grown-up now, attempting to figure out life On The Other Side of Middle, I decided to take a big jump this year and get an official planner.  Before now, I have only had the Mary Englebright calendar my mom gets me every Christmas… If I was not standing in my laundry room, Sharpie in hand, I literally could not make a plan.  No more!  I ordered Emily Ley’s Simplified Planner and I love it!  Honestly, it takes me back to my childhood love of pretty pens and stickers as I sit down every week and write in everyone’s colors-coded schedules and organize meal plans.  Everyday of this beautiful planner has a blank for each hour starting at 6am and ending at 9pm.  And each Sunday, my Type-A personality resists the temptation to fill them all in.

The Lord had been teaching me a lot about margin lately.

All I asked for for my 40th birthday was Space and Silence… like monastery style space and silence (and a puppy!  Do those things feel contradictory?  Whatever!  Stay tuned, by the way, on the puppy front).  Anyone else?  Psalm 118:5 says, “When hard pressed I cried to the Lord and He brought me into a spacious place.”  That is what I find my soul desiring in the grind of life, and the role of ever meeting all the needs for all the people.  Although we live on close to 7 acres here at the Ranchero, I am literally never in a space alone.  You get me, moms?  There is always a child, a chicken, a kitten, or dog underfoot.  I could use some spacious places of the Spirit.  But, that kind of space and silence feels special to most of us, doesn’t it?  Like women’s retreat, girl’s weekend, spa day, romantic get-away with the hubs special… What I am realizing, here in the grind of real life, is that margin is much more attainable.

Margin.  Margin is simply the extra time built into our days.  Listen to me, not just happened upon, because we all know that never happens, but intentionally built into our days.  We have to have some margin in our lives not only for our sanity and well-being, but to do the work the Lord has called each of us to do.

A dear, wise friend once told me that hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit is like driving a car and listening to the radio.  Destination mapped out, we get in, start the car, and turn on the radio.  At first all we may hear is static so we keep pushing the search button or tuning the dial until we begin to hear music above the noise.  The closer we drive to the radio tower, the more “in range” we are, the clearer the signal and music is coming in.  When we begin to get too far away, the static overcomes the voices.  In our lives we should desire to be constantly heading in the direction that we can more and more clearly hear His voice.  We have all found ourselves, our hearts and minds in some static areas, places we can’t hear from the Lord at all, places His voice is drown out by the numbing buzz of routine, and hurt and hopes deferred.  Sin may have driven us out of range, but it may simply be because our agendas are so tight, the course for our day is mapped out in concrete, and we don’t even bother trying to tune in.  Perhaps He has appointed a  pitstop that isn’t on our route.  And my question to us all is this, what are we missing when we don’t tune in and leave the margin to listen and obey?

The idea of tuning in and allowing God to change our path reminds me of the absolutely wild story in Acts 8:26-40 about Philip and the Ethiopian Eunuch.  Go read it right now and meet me back here!  Did you do it?  Crazy, right?  An angel of the Lord comes to Philip and tells him to “go south down a desert road.”   Philip listens and obeys and comes upon a carriage carrying a high Ethiopian official.  The Holy Spirit then tells Philip to “go over and walk along beside the carriage.”  Again, Philip tunes in and runs up to the carriage where he hears the man reading aloud from the book of Isaiah.  Philip simply asks if he understands what he is reading to which the man replies, “How can I unless someone instructs me?” and invites Philip up to do just that.  In the end, Philip was able to share the Good News about Jesus, baptize the official in a roadside ceremony, and then get beamed up by God and set on a whole new path!  If there ever were an example of the Holy Spirit changing your plans for the day, this is it!  Imagine that, if when the angel of the Lord had told Philip to “go south,” he had said, “you know, my trip is already plugged in here to my GPS and it is telling me to go north.”  He had no idea why he was supposed to split off from the rest of his group that day and head down a desert road.  He didn’t know what he would find when he ran up beside that carriage.  But what a powerful experience he would have missed if he had not changed directions when the Lord told him to.  His work that day, his ability to tune to the Holy Spirit and willingness to obey took the Gospel to a whole new region of the world!

I know we don’t usually have an “angel of the Lord” visit and give us exact directions, but I believe if we are tuned in, we can hear God’s voice above the static.  Here are some examples from my own life, “Stop the lazy scroll session and send that text to check on her.”  “Give up your quiet lunch at home and reach out to that new/hurting/estranged friend.” “I know you had x, y, and z planned today (it’s even written in the planner) but she needs some encouragement/help with her kids/a meal brought over, etc.”  See, if our days are filled to the brim WITH GOOD THINGS, if there is no margin to change directions when the Holy Spirit tells us to, then we will miss it!  We may miss our biggest calling yet.

If I could live my whole day, accomplish all I have on my to do list, get to my destination by bedtime and never tap into the power of the Holy Spirit, never tune in and hear His voice, then can I really say He is the Lord of my day?  Listen, you may have called on Him to be Savior without ever making Him Lord of your life, your days, your plans, your agendas.  If He is not God of your margin then He may just be marginally God to you.  We need to be intentional about putting margin into our days, and then invite Him in to Lord over it.

So the question is how, right?  How do we find more of this margin, these spacious places in our real lives of jobs, and kids, and laundry, and the grocery store- for the love of strawberries- ALWAYS THE GROCERY STORE!    We like a formula, don’t we?  “3 Steps to Space and Silence,” or “A Busy Girl’s Guide to Margin.”  I get it.  I don’t have that formula but I think I have found some clues.

Psalms 16:5-6 says, “Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure.  The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.”    He alone is what we should be filled up with- our portion and our cup- not our own plans and agendas.  How often do we yield them up, even as we are writing them in our planners?  A secure lot paints the picture of something to keep intruders out, right?  Maybe a fence, a gate, a guard.  The fence around our property and the gate we use to lock out unwanted strangers makes me feel safe.  Where is your lot less than secure?  Where has the gate been left open to intruders in your life.  It may be as simple as our phones… has that ringtone lied to your and told you that it deserves to trample every fence you have put up?  What about boundary lines?  Without boundaries there is no margin.  If the words on a page went from very edge to very edge, filling every space, there would be no margin.  How are your boundary lines?  I expect that for some of us, at least in some areas of our lives and in some of our relationships, those boundary lines don’t always fall in pleasant places.  We live in a boundary-less society, 24 hour access to everyone, to entertainment and distractions, to demands.  If we indeed let our days be filled with Jesus first, keep the worthless intruders out so that our lots are secure, and allow the boundary lines to be pleasant, I think we can find the margin we are longing for.

I believe that ultimately we all do what we want to do.  I believe we will find what we are truly searching for.  If that is Jesus, and spacious places, and margin for Him to fill with His voice and power and will for our days, we will find it.  If it is something to fill every hour of the planner, we will certainly find that too. Is He God of your margin or just marginally God?  My prayer is that God is never marginalized in my life, that I can’t get down a single road without tuning in and adjusting the wheel.  May we be a generation of women who are intentional about planning and protecting our margin and then surrendering it to Him.

One of my goals for 2017 is to read through the entire Bible from cover to cover (again). As with any New Year’s resolution, January 1 feels great, right?  “In the beginning..,” creation, and all of that beauty.  Most of Genesis is rather exciting and I have been prayerfully asking the Lord to reveal new truths as I dive into familiar stories.  But in all honesty, somewhere around January 26, which is entitled “Civil and Ceremonial Laws,”  somewhere after the crossing of the Red Sea and the 10 Commandments, somewhere around Exodus 21, I am struggling.  It feels like there are endless chapters on what sacrifice is appropriate for what sin, where the blood goes after the offering is killed (gross), and what bodily fluids make you unclean and for how long (even grosser).  In this chunk of scripture we find the plans for the tabernacle and the priestly garments.  We find each and every teeny tiny little law for life in relationship with God and others at the time, and I am sure that the Israelites found it immensely helpful.  And because I believe that, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correction and training in righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16),” I forge ahead.  (And I am reminded how thankful I am to be living on this side of the cross)!!!  But, at 6am, Leviticus, you are a struggle.

And then, about February 12th and 13th, I found myself in Numbers 13-14.  I could live in Numbers 13-14!     

Let me catch you up a bit in case you haven’t been trudging through the wilderness with Moses and me lately.  God has called Moses to be the unlikely leader of the Israelite people following centuries of slavery in Egypt.  After 10 insane plagues, Pharaoh does in fact “let the people go.”  So they start off on what should be an eleven day journey to the Promised Land of Canaan, the land “flowing with milk and honey.”

In Exodus 13:1-2 we read, “The Lord said to Moses, ‘Send some men to explore the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the Israelites. From each ancestral tribe send one of its leaders”   So begins the story of the 12 scouts or spies sent to explore the Promised Land, what they found, what they said about it, and the consequences it held for a nation.  It is breathtakingly convicting to me… And it’s got me asking, “What’s my scouting report?”

What is yours?

The command from God in 13: 1-2 is simply to explore the land.  He is basically saying, “Go take a look at what I have already given you, go give it a sneak peak and come back to tell everyone how awesome it is!  Let’s have a pep rally!  You get to be the cheerleaders!”  God does not say, “Go see if we can do it.  Go check it out and see if it’s going to work.  Go form a strategy on how we may be able to take them.”  Nope.  Just “go explore the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the Israelites.”

But in the cosmic game of telephone that we humans unfortunately play with our Heavenly Father sometimes, the command begins to get a bit twisted.  In Numbers 13: 17-20 Moses sends the scouts off with these words, “See what the land is like and whether the people who live there are strong or weak, few or many.  What kind of land do they live in?  Is it good or bad?  What kind of towns do they live in?  Are they unwalled or fortified?  How is the soil?  Is it fertile or poor?  Are there trees in it or not?  Do your best to bring back some of the fruit of the land.”  To be fair to Moses, he is still just asking for the scouting report but it feels like he is beginning to plant some doubt in the minds of the spies. A bit of negativity.  “Is it going to be hard?  Is it going to be good?  Is it going to be worth it?”

My question is this: if it is what God has for you, what He has already given you by His word, His plan for your life, then does it matter?  Does it matter if the people are strong and many, living in fortified cities with poor soil and no trees? Worst case scenario doesn’t change the reality. If this is the land God is leading you into, then this is the land you are heading to.  It reminds me of another conversation Moses had with the Lord earlier in Exodus 33:14 where he says, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here.”  This is it, Moses.  This is where His presence is going.  He has already given it to you.  Good, bad, or ugly.

I don’t mean to be hard on Moses here.  I get it.  When God sent my little family to this desert town I was asking some of the same questions.  The answers?  No trees, no water, poor soil, few restaurants, no good shopping, further away from all you know.  Great. The first time my husband and I came here for a bit of scouting of our own, I cried my eyes out.  As tumbleweeds hit our car and the constant wind whipped sand all around, I felt myself questioning this land that God had obviously sent us to.  Let me just say that I wasn’t feeling much like a cheerleader at the time.

Back to those Israelites… The 12 spies came back with a cluster of grapes so large it had to be carried on a pole!  At first glance this had to be good news, right?  But then the scouting report comes: “We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey!  Here is its fruit.  But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large.  We saw descendants of Anak there [giants] (Num.13:27-28).   We can’t attack those people, they are stronger than we are. The land we explored devours those living in it.  All the people we saw there are of great size.  We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them (Num. 13: 31-33)…” said the 10.

BUT, my boys Joshua and Caleb had a different scouting report.  “We should go up and take possession of the land for we can certainly do it (Num. 13:30)”. “The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good.  If the Lord is pleased with us, He will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us.  Only do not rebel against the Lord.  And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will devour them.  Their protection is gone, but the Lord is with us.  Do not be afraid of them (Num. 14:7-9)”. Same land.  Same obstacles.  Same challenges.  Different scouting report.

Why?  Why did the 10 see a land that would devour them, while the 2 declared they would be the ones to devour?  Why did the 10 see giants and the 2 see people without protection?  How could the 10, huge fruit of the land in hand, preach fear while the 2 advocated courage?  It was all in where they were looking.  So simple.  So profound.  So life-altering.

Where are you looking today?  Your circumstances or your Creator?  At all that is trying to devour your peace and joy, or at the Prince of Peace?  Are your human eyes so focused on what you can see that you can’t hear the promises God has spoken to your Spirit?  What are you trusting in?  Your experiences or your faithful Father?  Have you forgotten the Red Sea crossings of yesterday as you look at the giants of today?  What are you saying about your life, your marriage, your kids, your finances, your church, your country, your struggles, your opportunities?  The scouts came bearing the same good fruit, the same possibilities… It was in their words, what they confessed with their mouths that was different.  What are you speaking over your life?

It matters.  

Numbers 14:36-38 says, “So the men Moses had sent to explore the land, who returned and made the whole community grumble against him by spreading a bad report about it— these men who were responsible for spreading the bad report about the land were struck down and died of a plague before the Lord.  Of the men who went to explore the land only Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh survived.”  Ummm, whoa!!!

Not only that, because of the faithless scouting report of these spies and the nation’s rebellion in light of them, the 11 day trip to Canaan turned into a 40 year wandering in the desert.  God said in Numbers 14: 33-34, “Your children will be shepherds here for forty years, suffering for your unfaithfulness, until the last of your bodies lie in the wilderness.  For forty years-one year for each of the forty days you explored the land- you will suffer for your sins and know what it is like to have me against you.”  Yeah, I’d say it matters.

I don’t think anyone will be struck down by a plague today or die in the wilderness but maybe your calling will, a relationship might, a testimony could.  I do think our faithless words steal blessings not only  from us but from the next generation as well.  I believe my scouting report now could either usher my children into places God wants to take them in the future, or keep them out for years.  Am I setting them up to be devoured or do the devouring?  Defeat or victory?  The decision to either focus on God’s promises or on the world’s problems matters.  I could still be one of God’s chosen people wasting my whole life in the desert of disbelief and fear.  No thanks.  

So are you a 10 or a 2?  Do you see the giants or the fruit?  What’s your scouting report?  It’s a much shorter trip to the promise land when it lines up with His promises!  Let us be Joshua and Caleb’s in a questioning culture.

Well, this town still doesn’t have any water or trees.  The restaurants and shopping still leave a lot to be desired.  I wouldn’t say that it is “flowing with milk and honey,” although I do spy the grapevine starting to come back in the garden.  They won’t be huge but they will be sweet.   Last night, as I sat on my “sunset porch” with a good book, watching the West Texas sky do it’s thing while my children and chickens free-ranged, it felt pretty close to a Promise Land to me.  If there is ever a time when you hear my scouting report not line up with the promises of God, I give you permission to throw a tumbleweed at me.

 

 

Can you even wrap your brain around the fact that we are barreling into the middle of December like the Polar Express on that crazy mountain?  Although the halls have been decked here at the Ranchito, we haven’t yet had time to press into the “chill” of that mythical December in our dreams.

To be completely honest, so far December has looked like a lot of late night Nutcracker rehearsals, confounding calendar meetings, and quality time with no one but Amazon Prime.

It always feels this way, doesn’t it, every year?  We have the best intentions of soaking it all in, savoring every moment,  being completely present, inviting in the magic of simplicity and booting out the unhealthy expectations we put on ourselves… And then 35 trips to the grocery store later,  4 never ending email threads about class parties and teacher’s gifts, and infinite Christmas list revisions from my kiddos and you can just call me The Grinch!  And I want to be Cindy Lou!

I think in this season, more than any other, there is such tension between the doing and the being.

Some of us Pinterest types have really gotten a bad wrap lately.  There is serious push back to anything perfectly planned and pretty.  Fancy automatically equals fake and all to-do lists must be burned at the stake immediately in the name of stillness and authenticity.  And a girl like me, and maybe you too, is left feeling just as much anxiety in letting it all go as she does in getting it all done.

Maybe the magic of Christmas will just land on your home like gently falling snow as you sit by the fire ignoring the grocery lists and emails, but it doesn’t happen like that for me.  The way of  anything left on its own is to unravel.  The way of Christmas with 4 kids, a huge ballet production, countless parties and commitments,  and visiting in-laws left unplanned would be complete chaos.  So here is where I am…

I am being proactively intentional with our Christmas this year. 

God is showing me a lot about my own wiring lately and how He has created me and here is what I know:  I AM A LIST MAKER.  There, I said it.  I like a Pinteresty party and a perfectly planned menu.  I send Christmas cards out the day after Thanksgiving, and every gift is already wrapped and placed under the tree.  What I am realizing is that the shame thing can work both ways, like “reverse shame.”  When we lift the mess up too high, then those of us on the other side feel like our organization and lists makes us less human, less real, and somehow the enemy to fellow women everywhere.  The pendulum has shifted and I am feeling it this Christmas.

So, this holiday season the family and I have made a different kind of list.  We are working on our “Family Christmas Bucket List.”   We sat down at dinner one night and I just asked, “What do y’all want to MAKE SURE we do this Christmas?”  Now, in our little town options are pretty limited, but here’s what we have so far:  We will be attending the Living Nativity at the Baptist Church, the hayride through the best lit neighborhood at another church, and the candlelight Christmas Eve service at our own church home.  We will have a sleepover with our besties in bedroom forts.  We will decorate Christmas cookies,  make applesauce cinnamon ornaments, and drink copious amounts of hot chocolate.  We will watch big sister in her 7th Nutcracker and celebrate all of her hard work.  We will also watch every “claymation” Christmas movie we can find and sing all the songs by heart.  We will sit by the fire pit outside and listen to Daddy play Christmas carols on his guitar.  We are loving She Reads Truth’s advent cards at the dinner table and our Jesse Tree readings at bedtime.  We will probably see Star Wars’ “Rogue One” approximately 15 seconds after it is released.  Stuff like that.  The list is on the fridge and we can add to it as new ideas come to us.  I just don’t want to look up in the middle of January and think, “We missed it!”  We were too busy to do the good stuff.  Or everyone just vegged in their rooms so much we forgot to really go out there and embrace it all!  I’m proud of our list!  No shame!

Here is another juicy little tidbit.  The hubs and I are making a “Romantic Christmas Bucket List.”    It is NOT on the fridge.  After all, Christmas is the most romantic time of the year, and I don’t want to miss that either.  But if we are not proactively intentional, we will.  The only conversations we will have will be what to wear to the office party, where to hide the bike until Christmas morning, did you get those new addresses for Christmas cards, and when are your parents getting here.  Not sexy.  When I asked him what he wanted to put on the list via text the only response I got was, “Make out.” No.  But, if you say, “Make out by the fire with Christmas music playing” then yes! We will be watching White Christmas alone, have a hot chocolate and hand holding date, trying out the new coffee shop together, and some other stuff I’m not going to write because my dad has been known to read the blog but you get the idea.

So, list makers of the world unite!  No shame in our game when it brings some proactive intentionality to our Christmas!  You can schedule Selah as well as search for it!  I would really love to hear your ideas on what is on both your Family Christmas Bucket List and your Romantic Christmas Bucket List as well.  Don’t let the inertia of the season, whether it be crazy or lazy,  leave you disappointed come New Year’s Eve.

To help you cultivate the things that matter into your family’s schedule this Christmas season, I’ve created a printable bucket list for you to use. Just click on the image below, print and post on your fridge!

Let’s get proactive and intentional with this precious gift of Christmas! Joy to the World Y’all!