This little gem is the very first fig from my fig tree.  It is actually the one and only  piece of fruit I’ve gotten this year from my new, baby trees that were a gift from my hubby for Valentine’s Day (Who needs roses when you can have fruit trees)!

We planted 2 apple and 2 pear (for cross-pollination, obviously), and a precious little fig tree in the Spring.  To my delight a tiny pear appeared in early May and I watched it everyday.  I visited it and checked on its progress.  We would hang out.  I would touched it and squeezed it.  It just generally left me happy like all growing things do.  Then one day, my sweet-green-almost-ripe pear was gone.  Not on the tree, not on the ground, GONE!  I felt like I lost a friend.  My guess is that a dog or a child bumped it off and it fell to the ground where any number of Ranchito critters feasted on it.  So sad.  I then turned my attention to the budding little fig tree.  I resumed my visitations and anticipated its ripening with a more cautious eye.  Do you know that it took this one fig weeks to grow and ripen?  Weeks.  And once I finally picked it, it took me approximately one and half minutes to wash it, cut it, and eat it.  Now, if I had been feeling fancy and wanted to put it on a cracker with some goat cheese and honey, it might have been more like a 5 minute snack but none the less, my little fig was gone quickly.

Currently, I have 5 baby chicks residing in my bathroom.

I know that this is a totally normal situation so we will not belabor the obvious point that the floors are heated and they need a constant temperature of 95 degrees the first weeks of life so they HAVE to live in the bathroom (I’m talking to you, Babe.  It DOES NOT sound like we are sleeping in a zoo- much).   Do you know that it takes about 24-26 weeks for a chick to start laying eggs?  That is about 6 months of protecting, feeding, and nurturing before they produce their first egg.  Before they “bring anything to the table,” so to speak.  And do you know that once a hen starts to lay, it takes her body about 24-36 hours to naturally lay each egg?  Isn’t that amazing?  A few mornings ago I had a couple of extra children around the breakfast table and we went through a dozen eggs before 8:30am.  In one sitting.  Just like that.  That was either about 2 weeks worth of hard laying for one girl, or 12 chickens’ full day’s work.

None of this is revolutionary, I know,  but it has certainly, humbly taught me a couple of lessons lately.  First of all, maybe we take the Lord’s amazing, ingenious provisions for granted.  I know I do.  In a culture and time when most everything is accessible to the masses by a simple trip to the grocery store, we are so far removed from the starting places of what we consume.  A tiny seed, that finally becomes a tree, that finally buds a tiny fruit, that takes weeks to mature and ripen.  Just one.  And we throw 5 or 10 in a plastic bag without thought.  Meat that started as an embryo.  Eggs that took sweet hens at least 6 months and 24 hours to gift to you.  I don’t know what to say except maybe we give a little extra thanks tonight as we sit in front of a meal that our creative God provided through endless steps and journeys.

Also this eloquent point:

Stuff takes a long time.

It does.  Relationships take a long time.  Building community takes a long time.  Creating a home takes a long time.  Raising kids well takes a long time.  Righting ships that have gone astray takes a long time.  A faithful walk with Christ takes a long time.  Authentic, mature, intimate marriage takes a long time- Like, maybe it takes a lifetime.

When I am plotting my garden, I always have to look at the zone I live in to see what the growing season is for a particular fruit or vegetable.  There are places with longer and shorter growing seasons.  There are certain plants that have a longer or shorter growing season.  What I am realizing is that life, humans, relationships all have very long growing seasons.   We are eternal beings, so I suppose we have eternal growing seasons.  Stuff takes a long time.  It’s obvious in nature.  We can see it, plot it, watch it.  My tiny fig tree will not produce what my friend’s giant tree will with its roots deep and decades of growth behind it.  There is nothing I can feed to my 1 week old chicks to get them to lay a single egg before their little bodies are ready.  But maybe we aren’t so apt to see it when it comes to the things of the Spirit, of relationships, of life.  Growth is certainly organic.  It happens when it happens naturally.  Sometimes all we can do is fertilize and persevere.  You know, like patience, long-suffering, endurance… Lessons we don’t like much when we are talking about things bigger than figs and eggs.

As I studied the book of Acts this summer with the online community She Reads Truth,  I was struck at how many times a small verse would read, “for a whole year Saul met with the church,” “and they stayed a long time with the disciples,” “some time later,” “they remained,” “he stayed and worked with them,” “Paul stayed on in Corinth for some time,”  “this [preaching] went on for two years,”  “when two years had passed,”  “for two whole years Paul stayed there.”  These were all different records of time.  That is a lot of staying, and remaining.  In one verse years are gone, over and over.  This is so humbling to me as I get discouraged in places of remaining myself, when I think something should take less time to produce the outcome, the results, the fruit in my life.

In Malachi 3:11 God says, “the vines in your fields will not drop their fruit before it is ripe.”  What fruit is God growing in this season in your life?  Do you ever look around and feel like it must have dropped like my little pear friend did?  Is it a ministry you thought would be budding by now?  Did you think your finances would be producing a harvest this year?  Did you hope your marriage would be rooted deep today, and instead you are searching for signs of life?  Have you been pouring into someone and feel your fruit has not only been dropped, but shoved back in your face?    Have you been believing for bounty in a child’s life but the storehouse appears empty?  Me too y’all.  Oh my goodness, me too!  But what has our God promised us?

By your patience, possess your souls.  Luke 21:19

Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  Galatians 6:9

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him.  James 1:12

God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them. We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end so that what you hope for may be fully realized.  Hebrews 6:10-11

You see, it’s a long growing season for us.  Someone needs to know that today.  I need to remember that today.  There is no invisible time limit on the things of the Spirit, on relationships, on giftings.   We are eternal.  Your harvest may be right around the corner, and honestly, it may be decades down the road.  We can’t know how deep the roots go for someone else that seems to be reaping what you have been sowing.  Some of us have had scorching seasons.  For others it has been the storms.  You may be amid battering winds right now.  It may be a drought you are facing.   But if you are alive, you are growing.  It is organic.  But you can fertilize that thing with the Word of God, with prayer, and most of all with remaining.

Unfortunately, we can’t just run to the store and grab an intimate marriage and throw it in the bag.  We can’t pick up a little lasting community, or faithful friendships at the drop of a hat.  A deep relationship with the Lord is paved with hours, and days, and decades.  Restoration takes time.  Forgiveness takes time.  A successful business, the legacy of family, a powerful ministry, they all take time.  Stuff takes a long time. Don’t cast that fruit before it is ripe!  Don’t throw it away before the victory!  Don’t walk away before the harvest!  Can we be like Paul and stay?  Can we remain and patiently wait, even among a culture that would say to toss it and move on?   Can we do the work again and again, knowing our God is faithful to His word?   Anticipate the harvest but settle in for a long growing season.  Be encouraged to stay at it.  (Baby chicks in your bathroom make it a little more fun!  Just saying!).

 

Do you remember Mr. McGregor from the Peter Rabbit stories?  He was the crotchety old gardener who continued to chase all the adorable bunnies out of his cabbage.  When they got caught in his shed, they feared for their lives because he was not kidding around about his garden.  He was the “bad guy.”  In the end, the poor bunnies were saved and made off with Old McGregor’s veggies.  As a child, I was obviously in the palm of Beatrix Potter’s hand and rooted for the hungry rabbits wearing precious English coats.  As an adult, I’m so annoyed at those little thieves.  So, let me take this opportunity to express my sincere apologies to the fictional gardener Mr. McGregor.  I feel ya Man.  My little garden is not doing too well this year and I’m in the worst mood about it.  I have bought and planted so many squash, zucchini and pepper plants this season that I have spent more than I EVER would at the store on actual squash, zucchini, and peppers.  I mean, there isn’t a male in my family that will even touch anything from the squash family.  But week after week I head back to the nursery to buy another fresh, healthy plant just to have it devoured less than 24 hours after it is in the ground.

Stupid, stinking, thieving rodents.  (Around the Ranchito I think mice and rats are the problem more than bunnies in coats.  Destructive none the less.)

I have tried everything.  I have used the “Repel” spray and the stuff you shake around the perimeter of the garden.  I have bought netting and cages for the plants.  I have read every article about cinnamon and cayenne pepper.  There have even been late night stake outs and BB Guns (It’s Texas y’all.).  I have even researched the possibility of setting up owl roosts because they are supposed to be rats’ greatest predator.   Unfortunately we don’t have any trees tall enough (It’s WEST Texas y’all).  Nothing is working.  No matter how many rodents we kill, there are always 10 more waiting to munch my little veggie plants.  It’s not only the tender stems and leaves they are destroying… It is all of my hard work and toil. It is the possibility of the fruit (or vegetable).  Gone.  In a bite.  The thing that really kills me is that there are 7 acres worth of plants to eat.  There is a pasture full of lovely long grass.  There are wild flowers in huge bunches all over this place.

In fact, I’m so mad about the garden right now that there are plenty of weeds lining the rows of half devoured plants.  That’s not what these little thieves go for.  It’s not what they want.

So God is showing me something in all of this which is good I guess.  I mean if I can’t have zucchini bread I might as well have a little wisdom.  The first lesson I am learning as I watch my garden being destroyed is about the “little foxes.” (I know, it’s rats not foxes.  Stay with me).  Remember the little foxes from Song of Solomon?  In chapter 2:15 it says, “Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.”  The reference to the vineyards here is probably made in regards to the relationship between King Solomon and the Shulamite woman.  He is giving her a warning that they need to be aware of the “little foxes” that can destroy their love.  So rats are even smaller than foxes, right?  And yet they can ruin my entire garden in one night.  It makes me think about all of those little things, little distractions, little sins, little places of rebellion that I am letting destroy the fruit of what God is wanting to do in my life.  Is the distraction of busyness eating up my peace?  Is the sin of comparison destroying my joy?  Is there a root of bitterness that is devouring my contentment?  Are my words, my witness, my ministry being nibbled to nothingness because I have allowed a little fox of pride to reside too long in my heart?  To catch them I have to be aware of them.  After all, John 15:8 says, “This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.”  If I am not bearing the fruit, showing myself to be a disciple, then I better get to fox hunting.  They won’t go away on their own.  There will have to be a plan, and equipment, and maybe I’ll need some help.  Focus, the Word of God, a community around that is always calling me to be a better version of me, who can see the fruit God intends.  We’re coming for you, you stupid little foxes.

Next, it strikes me as, ummmm, let’s say interesting (infuriating, exasperating) that the weeds are thriving next to the failing vegetables.  No one went out to buy the weeds, no one loaded them in their car, no one prepared the soil for them, dug a hole, and gingerly placed them in the ground.  No one has fertilized them or watered them.  And yet, there they are; tall, strong, healthy.   Weeds are the default.  If nothing is done, it is the weeds that will grow, not the nutritious, beneficial fruits and vegetables we desire.  I have to think, “what is my default?”  What is yours?  What will grow in us if left to our natural state?  What attitudes will flourish?  What words will be produced?  What sin will thrive?  What will come out in a crisis, when my feelings are hurt, when I am stressed or worried or tired?    Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.  Who can understand it?”  So, that’s our soil to start with.  That is our human flesh, our natural selves.   It reminds me of the good ‘ole Fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:16-23:

“So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.  For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh.  They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.  But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.  The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery, idolatry and witchcraft, hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy, drunkenness, orgies, and the like.  I warn you as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  Against such things there is no law.”

The works of the flesh, the default, the weeds… they are easy to spot, they grow without effort, they are easily rampant.  The fruits of the spirit, well they are a bit more time consuming to cultivate.  I always think about Daniel and his buddies after they had been taken into captivity by the Babylonians.  When they were given the opportunity to partake in the king’s richest of fares it says, “But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself…. (Daniel 1:8)”  He had resolved to stay faithful before the temptation had come, therefore purity was his default in the face of defilement.   Pulling weeds is boring and tedious and really, a never ending task.  But to give what we have resolved in our hearts room to flourish, to make the fruit of the Spirit our default we have to get rid of them.

Healthy, yielding gardens don’t just happen.  There may be seasons of rodents and weeds.    My prayer of late in several difficult situations in my life has been, “Lord, find me faithful.”  When I cannot control my circumstances, when I cannot make wise decisions for others, when my heart is broken or anxious or confused… find me faithful.  Find me faithful in prayer.  Find me faithful in the Word.  Let the words of my mouth reflect the Truth of God rather than my own deceitful, weedy heart. Find me faithful to take every opportunity I am given to point people to Jesus, rather than to myself.  Let it be my default rather than the weeds of this world.  Show me the little foxes, the rats, the distractions, sins, or places of apathy and find me faithful in the hunt.  God intends an abundant harvest in my life, in yours.   But if we ignore the rodents and the weeds the crop will be meager.  Let my life, my witness, my marriage, my motherhood, my friendships be more productive than my little vegetable garden is this year.

So, poor, dear Mr. McGregor, I am truly sorry for my childhood ignorance.  I know now that you are not the “bad guy” but a faithful gardener.  I envy that lush patch of earth you cultivated.  Well done, Sir.

And now, I have to go put another zucchini plant in the ground.  Lord, find me faithful and persistent!

 

 

Spring is upon us at the Ranchito and it is my favorite! The pasture is popping with wildflowers, the hens are laying a dozen eggs a day (still in the same box, you know), the vegetable garden is planted (crooked rows and all).  We have even added fruit trees this year!  I am planting pots of flowers, replacing herbs that didn’t make it through the winter, and watching to see if my lantana and hydrangea come back.  The tiny Mexican Hat plants of last year are bushes full of bright blooms this year and the roses promise to be stellar! I love all the things.  Obviously, all projects are focused outside as the constant West Texas wind blows in the warmer weather.  A light bulb is out in your closet?  We’ll get to that in October.  The puppy ate the blinds again?  It’ll be fine until Fall! Your potty doesn’t flush?  Ummm….. ok, but spring is here!

Here is how most conversations go around here on a springtime Saturday morning:

Hubs: “What are you thinking you want to get accomplished this weekend?  What are you going to work on?”

Me: “Well, I need to hoe the garden, buy the veggies, and get them in the ground.  We need to get the fig tree planted next to the others.  I want the kids to clean the pool and scoop the poop.  I’ll clean out the coop.  I’m going to get some flowers for the hanging baskets and transplant some into the wheelbarrow.  I want to get the sweet potato vine going in the courtyard too so it’ll be awesome and everywhere sooner!  What about you?”

Hubs: “I need to go to Lowes and get stuff to fix the sprinklers.”

It is always a sprinkler project.  There always seem to be one or two zones acting up.  With four kids and four dogs running around, there is always at least one sprinkler head that is broken.  And all of my pretty flower beds, my veggie garden, my apple and pear trees would die very quickly without a working sprinkler system.  I know.  But no matter what I need done around here, it must get in line behind the sprinklers.  It’s like GO on the Monopoly board.  You have to pass it to get anywhere else.  Sitting here at my computer on a quiet Tuesday morning I’m not mad about it…. But sometimes on a Saturday afternoon?  Yeah.

We have a few “sprinkler projects” in our marriage too. Do you know what I mean?  There are a few areas that I know will always need attending to.  There are a few zones that may never work perfectly.  There are a few heads that seem to get knocked loose often and easily.  I can see it coming from a mile away.  I know the conversations that will do it.  I know the subjects that will cause the gusher.  I know the places that we have never seen eye to eye on.  I know the things that we have always stood at opposite corners on.  Maybe it is because of the families we grew up in, maybe it’s the Florida/Texas culture chasm, maybe it’s a Mars and Venus thing , maybe it’s our unique personalities, maybe it’s just our own sin and junk,  It’s probably all of those things.

My hubby always says, “We’ll never have an immaculate 7 acres.”  We concentrate on the front and back yards.  We tend to the flower beds.  We water and weed the garden.  But, he is right.  Way out here in the high desert we will never have all 7 acres landscaped and groomed.  It will never look like an English countryside (my secret dream.) It will also never look like my parents’ lush land on a lake in Florida where it rains every afternoon at 3pm sharp.  If you were to come to the Ranchito today you would be greeted by blooming white geraniums by the sidewalk and a cute little bench with a pillow that reads “home” on it.  There is a wreath straight from Magnolia Market on the front door.  If you were a tribe-member you would know that the front door is locked and no one has come in or out of it in a week and you would come through the courtyard to the sunset porch and in the kitchen door.  There you would see the herb garden, hanging baskets, tiny hydrangea making their spring debut, and friendly blue rockers.

I blow the leaves off of that porch every single day.  I keep it pretty.  If the wind died down enough and we decided to have a meal outside I would lead you to the backyard, past the rose bushes, to a long white table under a pool-side pergola.  If you left at night you would drive out of the gate with trees full of year-round lights in your rear-view mirror.  Here’s the deal, I wouldn’t invite you to sit and have a glass of wine with me behind the shop where we haul dead branches and debris. We’re not chatting it up in the school-room closet next to the litter box and papers strewn everywhere.  I’m not asking your kids to play way out in the pasture where there are stickers and cactus and possibly rattlesnakes.  But, just because those are real places doesn’t mean that all I just described isn’t beautiful.  We will never have an immaculate 7 acres.

Our marriage is the same.  Maybe there are some zones we should just leave alone.  There may be some areas that are never going to be blooming and beautiful.  After 16 years and a lot of redemption and work I can tell you that those areas are less and less, but there are still a few. But, we don’t have to live in the stickery, snake-filled pasture.  We have cultivated so many lovely areas that bring life and joy.  Just because there is a pile of debris out there doesn’t mean that there can’t be beauty right here.  We are two sinners, living together everyday, raising 4 little sinners, all under one loud, chaotic roof.  I once heard Beth Moore talk about her marriage and she said something like,  “Does it really always have to be great? Can’t it just be good?”  At the time this offended my 20 something, romantic sensibilities as I was sitting in a hot mess of a marriage.  Now, 16 years later, sliding into 40, I say, “Yes, Bethy (that’s my pet-name for her.  I’m sure she loves it)!  Yes, it can be good.  It can be really good.  Please don’t hear me say you should not work on things.  By all means, read a book, go to a retreat, get away together, don’t be afraid to have the hard conversations, pray. But at the end of the day know that no one has an immaculate 7 acres.  The areas in your marriage that have a perpetually busted sprinkler head may look perfect in someone else’ but they have their pile of dead branches too.   Does your hubby have a temper? Do y’all go round and round about budget?  Are in-laws a source of constant strife?  OK…. but is he a good provider, a hard worker, a hands-on dad that is doing the best he can? Maybe he is a huge help around the house but is terrible at community. Or maybe he has jumped head-first into your tribe but he never pursues you spiritually.  I get it.  But does it all have to be great?  Can we let it still be good?

We had a big “sprinkler project” issue this week.  We tip-toed around the leaky head for awhile.  We knew it had potential to be a mess.  We could have headed on over to a pretty, manicured spot in our relationship…. We didn’t.  I finally just reared back and kicked the thing as hard as I could.  It was a gusher.  My husband came to me a little while later and wisely said, “this is just one of those areas where we will have to agree to disagree.  We’ve come so far, let’s not do this.”  I wish I could tell you that I was gracious and mature in that moment.  Confesh… in the gushing emotions I wasn’t.  But he was right.  We will never have an immaculate 7 acres but we have so many beautiful spots in our marriage.  That is real.  That is good.

Marriage isn’t the only place we can apply the “sprinkle project principle” (so scientific, don’t you think?).  Do you do it with your kids?   Guess what your kids will never be good at?  EVERYTHING.  They will be really good at lots of things.  If you are a wise parent you will find their giftings and give them ample opportunity to soar.  But every single thing they try?  Everything that is ever asked of them?  Nope.  There will be some stickery patches and places that will never look neat and tidy.  Do you have a child that is super smart and goes through school with flying colors but will never get picked first for the baseball team?  What about a super talented artist who can’t seem to pass a math test?  Maybe you have a star athlete that has a hard time with relationships. Maybe you just have some normal kids that are ok in a lot of areas and less ok in others. No one’s child is perfect.  No one has an immaculate 7 acres.

What about yourself?  Do you do it to you?  Are you a great housekeeper and cook but you are a less “fun” wife and mom?  Are you the always willing “room mom” but can’t seem to get the laundry put away?  Do you and your husband have great communication and intimacy but you can’t stop looking at all your imperfections in the mirror?  Can you throw a Pinterest-worthy party but have a hard time engaging other women in real community?  Are you a leader in some areas and a failure in others.  We all have busted sprinkler heads, but look how beautiful that sunny patch is right there.

I think there is some peace and freedom in recognizing all of this.  I’m certainly not trying to hide our rough spots, or hide from them.  I just acknowledge they are there, work on them when we can, and focus on the areas that are life-giving.  That is really what it is about, isn’t it?  Focus?  If we are always looking at the weeds, at the debris, at the problems, we will never notice the wildflowers.   So, why don’t we all take a deep breath…. let’s grab a glass (I have plenty, you know), and go sit in the rocker on the courtyard instead of stomping around in the same ‘ole stickers.  Yes, there is a sprinkler head that is broken but it is lovely over here by the roses.  We will never have an immaculate 7 acres.  You will never have a perfect marriage, a perfect husband, a perfect child.  Guess what?  They will never have a perfect wife or mom either.  There is always a sprinkler project… But it can be so very good.